(Sunday afternoon. A big guy comes up to the checkout and keeps ringing the bell for 30 seconds after I begin scanning his merchandise.  Then he lets his son do it a few more times.  The fun never ends, you know.  Then…)

Customer: Hey, those caps for that cap gun are only $1.50.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but they’re $1.75.

Customer: But the tag says $1.50.

Me: It’s an old pack.  The price went up this month.  If you check the shelf label, you’ll see it says…

Customer: I’m not paying that!

Me: …the label says…

Customer: You have to give it to me for $1.50.  The customer is always right, you know!

Me: Sir, it’s an  old package.  The price has gone up.

Customer: It’s false advertising!  I’ll sue you and this store!

Me: (exasperated) Okay, sir.  $1.50 it is.

Customer: (to other person in line): You have to watch these guys, they’ll ***** you any way they can!

Me: That’s right, sir.  We take the extra quarters from these packs of caps and use it to fund our plans to take over the country.  Your quarter would have given us just enough money to buy a slighly used Uzi.